Ugly Shoes

Jordan: Fashion Anti-Icon

Shoe Critic — Thu, 09 May 2013 18:59:35 +0000

Air Jordans, always a showstopper, not because of how cool they are. Sports Grid says:

"Michael Jordan’s Association With Ugly Clothing Knows No Bounds"

Louboutin Sells Trash for $1000

Shoe Critic — Wed, 08 May 2013 06:59:53 +0000

Christian Louboutin has taken on the eco-friendly route. These Eurotrash peep-toes feature a collage of random scraps of paper, fabric, and thread (aka: Paris trash). So, no two pairs are exactly the same. They retail for $1095. Who wants to pay for them?

Photos from Glamour

Elle Fanning’s Shoes

Shoe Critic — Wed, 08 May 2013 00:57:02 +0000

Check out Elle Fanning at the Twilight Premiere of Breaking Dawn wearing these shoes that look like a craft project from Etsy. Here's a quote from Go Fug Yourself:

"These are literally the ugliest shoes that ever happened. They look like someone took the prop mouth from a denture cream ad and strapped them to her feet."

Photos from Go Fug Yourself

Summer's Coming

Shoe Critic — Wed, 01 May 2013 12:46:50 +0000

Summer is just around the corner, but please don't let it catch you in these. They are called Coral Reef by Irregular Choice. They have palm tree cut-outs over wooden sandals. I'm sure you could find a Hawaiian shirt that's just as horrible to match. The price for these is $175. Photos form Irregular Choice

Weird Cowboy Wedge

Shoe Critic — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 12:44:47 +0000

These shoes are called Chocolate Banana Smoothie. Why, you say? I have no idea. And if they're not overly embellished, the cage bit is WEIRD. Where do your feet go? And what's with the flower on the front? You can find them at Irregular Choice for $175. Photos from Irregular Choice

Donuts and Flowers and Cherries

Shoe Critic — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:32:53 +0000

Part flower arrangement, part cherry pickings, and part donut, these shoes seem like they can't decide what they want to be. They are called Cherry Shaker by Irregular Choice and retail at a whopping $250. Take it all in. Photos from Irregular Choice

Troy Polamalu for Lanvin?

Shoe Critic — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 02:10:47 +0000

Check out these Lanvin platform pumps. It looks like Pittsburg Steelers player, Troy Polamalu, donated a bit of his hair to make these. Well, not really, but in all seriousness, am I being Punked? These cannot be shoes that they expect people to wear for real.

Photos from Yoox

Moonscape Booties

Shoe Critic — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 07:52:25 +0000

Meet the Air Jordan XX8. It looks like there is some weird landscape or video game texture printed all around it. Gizmodo put it best: "Bolstered with carbon fiber plates: a purple eyescar sheathed in some kind of snakeskin-meets-moonscape-meets-pixelcamo footcondom. This has gotta be the ugliest shoe ever made." Photos from Gizmodo

Bad Bad Spikes

Shoe Critic — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 19:18:28 +0000

Prep school shoes meet crazy spikes by Christian Louboutin. Are these self-defense shoes for girls who are being bullied at school? Or are these the shoes bullies wear? Photo from 33 Avenue

Dwyane Wade in Clown Shoes

Shoe Critic — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 00:39:21 +0000

Dwayne Wade wore this pair of Christian Louboutin shoes on his visit to the White House. The Miami Heat player even while wearing a gray suit felt the need to let his team colors shine. The shoes go for $675. Photos from Upscale Hype